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 (http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/) May 1, 2008   Being a  Mom that Matters _Mary  Southerland_ (http://www.marysoutherland.com/)    (http://www.marysoutherland.com/) Today’s  Truth Proverbs 22:6 Train children how to  live right, and when they are old, they will not change. (NCV) Friend to  Friend So much of who we are as women is  rooted in the parent/child relationship. I believe that my role as a mother will  greatly affect the kind of woman my daughter will become. I also believe that  moms are the primary teachers in a child’s life. Here are a few familiar truths  taught by mothers: Cleanliness: If you're going to kill each other, do it  outside - I just finished cleaning! Religion: You had better pray that will come out of the  carpet. Logic: Because I said so, that's  why. Planning: Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case  you're in an accident. The circle of life: I brought you into this world, and I can take  you out. We live in a world that many times  denies the importance of being a mom. I don’t come to you as an expert. I simply  want to be a successful mom! Well,   actually, my credentials are  impressive! I am the mother of two  beautiful, brilliant children! I want to  be the mom they need and deserve and the good news is that God wants the same  thing. Being a parent is a holy calling  from God and God never calls us to do a job without providing the power and the  plan to do that job successfully. How can  we be the moms that really matter?   1. Be a mom who loves God! 1 John 4:19 “We love, because God first loved us.” (NCV) We are incapable of loving our children like  they were meant to be loved until we first love God! Motherhood at its best demands a thriving  partnership with God! We cannot give  unconditional love until we have experienced unconditional love! And God is the only source of that kind of  love! We can do everything else right as  a parent but if we don’t begin with loving God - we will   fail! 2. Be a mom who prays continually. I Thessalonians 5:17 should every mother’s commitment to her children.  “ Never stop praying.” (IC   It is never too late to start  praying and it is always too early to stop!     *   Pray for God’s plan – not yours –  when praying for your children.       *   Pray that you will see your child  like God sees your child.       *   Pray specifically for your  child: Proverbs 3:5-6 “Lord, I pray that Jered  would trust in you with all his heart and will lean not unto his own understanding. I pray that in all his ways Jered will acknowledge you and that  you will direct his paths.” 1 Peter  5:7 “Lord, I pray that Danna would cast all her care upon you, because  you care for her.” Prayer is an eternal gift we can  give to our children, teaching them the importance of prayer and teaching them  how to pray. I recently heard the story   of a mother who had invited several people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old  daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing? “I wouldn't know what to say, the girl  replied. Just say what you hear Mommy say, she answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, Lord,  why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”   We began early to pray with our kids  at bedtime. One night, out of the blue, our son, Jered, began to pray that his  grandfather and his uncle would stop smoking. Since both had smoked for many years and neither was trying to quit, I  didn’t expect much. But our son did.  Within the next year, both men suddenly quit smoking. I was totally amazed, but Jered acted like it  was no big deal. When I questioned his  response, he simply said, “Mom, you told me God answers prayer.” I am convinced that if we pray for our children and with our children, it will change their  lives and ours and give us insight that we can gain no other  way. 3. Be a mom who gives time! Proverbs 22:6 Train children how to live right,  and when they are old, they will not change. (NCV) It takes time to be a mom, to know  and to train your children. Every child   comes with a set of characteristics already established by God. Our job is to   identify those characteristics and then steer the child toward them. The   original root word for “train” is the term for “the palate, the roof of the   mouth, the gums”. In the days of Solomon, a midwife would deliver the baby, dip   her finger into the juice of crushed dates, reach into the mouth of the baby and  massage the gums and palate to create a sense of taste and thirst. She would then give the child to the mother so  the baby could nurse. Our job as mothers  is to develop a thirst in our children for the right things. And that takes time.   There is a popular philosophy today  that it doesn’t matter the quantity of time that we spend with our kids as long  as it is quality time. It does matter! Can a woman have it all - a home, a family, a  career? I think she can. I’m just not  sure she can have them all at the same time. There are seasons of life to which we must yield in order to be the  mother God wants us to be. Time spent  with children is never wasted! Every  minute invested in your child is an eternal investment! Give your children the best of your time – not  the leftovers. ·         Make  weekly dates with your kids. ·         Pull them  out of school occasionally for a fun day. ·         Have a  meal together every day. ·         Be  involved in the things they enjoy. In other words, be available! And just your physical presence is not  enough! Our normal bedtime routine was to  spend a few minutes with each child, talking about the day, praying together and  then I would tuck them in. When our   daughter, Danna, was six-years-old, Dan was out of town and I was behind in   studying for an upcoming retreat. I went  in to Jered’s room, completed the routine and he was asleep in minutes. But when I went into Danna’s room, trying to  speed things up, Danna refused to talk. When I asked her why, she cried out, “Mama, you’re not here!” Confused and a little irritated, I responded,  “ Yes, I am! I am right here!” Her big  brown eyes filled with tears as she drove the truth home, “But you’re not really  here on the inside.” Be a mom who gives  your children time.   Being a mom is the hardest job on  earth! It brings out the best and the   worst in you! I know that it requires  great sacrifice and limitless energy, but to invest your time and best efforts  into a child, to watch that child grow and develop, is to be part of the  creative majesty of life itself! We’re  half the way there! Tomorrow, we will  explore four more ways to be a mom that matters. Let’s  pray Lord, thank You for giving me  children. Help me be the mom they  deserve. I commit to constantly pray for  each child and invest the best part of my time and life in them. Forgive me for allowing lesser things to take  the place of my role as a mother and guide me to be a mom that really  matters. Amen. Now it’s your  turn Are you growing in your life as a  Christian? How?   Evaluate your schedule in light of  the truth that the best part of your time goes to being a mom. What changes do you need to make in your  schedule?   What do you need to give up so you  can spend more time with your children? What specific needs are you praying  for your children? Make a list and pray   through that list daily. Check us out! _www.MySpace.com/LoriMJ28_ (http://www.myspace.com/LoriMJ28) _http://stores.ebay.com/Dennis-and-Loris-Variety-Shop_ (http://stores.ebay.com/Dennis-and-Loris-Variety-Shop) _www.PilesVarietyStore.com_ (http://www.pilesvarietystore.com/) (1st time shoppers MUST contact us for a code to  use for a $10 gift card) LoriMJ24 is a  registered member of America Online's White List and is a registered  mailer with America Online® Community Action Team Please call 888-265-3733  Or 888-265-8004 to register your screenname on the White Mailing  List **************Need a new ride? Check out the largest site for U.S. used car listings at AOL Autos.       (http://autos.aol.com/used?NCID=aolcmp00300000002851)

 (http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/) May  2, 2008   Being a  Mom that Matters – part 2 _Mary  Southerland_ (http://www.marysoutherland.com/)   Today’s  truth Psalm 127:3  Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. (NLT)   Friend to  Friend So much of who we  are as men and women is rooted in the parent/child relationship. I believe my  role as a mother will greatly affect the kind of woman my daughter will become.  I also believe moms are the primary teachers in a child ’s life. Yesterday, we  identified three steps we can take to be the moms God wants us to  be:     1.  Be a mom who loves  God.       2.  Be a mom who prays  continually.       3.  Be a mom who gives  time. Today, let’s talk  about being a mom who encourages.   Thessalonians  5:11 “So encourage each  other and give each other strength.” (NCV) When we encourage  our children, we deposit strength in them and need to be careful to keep their  emotional deposits in balance. Many kids  are in emotional bankruptcy because constant withdrawals of criticism are made  with few deposits of encouragement. Our  job is to study our kids and discover their strengths and weaknesses. We need to understand that many times, their  greatest weakness may very well become their greatest  strengths. As a child, I was  very stubborn! That stubbornness often  got me into trouble, but it also made me the survivor of some very hard  times! We need to look for the good  things in our children and draw them into the spotlight. In other words, become their “encourager” and  their “cheerleader”. Everyone needs a  cheerleader. When our son, Jered, was in second  grade, a boy in his class was obnoxious and irritating. No one liked him. One Monday morning, he came to school with   both arms in a cast from wrist to shoulder. The teacher explained that he would need a friend for the next six weeks,  someone who could help him with homework, eat his lunch…go to the restroom….get  the idea? The classroom fell silent, no  one meeting the teacher’s eyes. Finally,  Jered said, “I’ll do it.” At the end of  four weeks, Jered said one day, “You know, mom. He’s not that bad.” At the end of  six weeks, the other children were beginning to include this boy and even  volunteered to help him. But the most  amazing transformation was in the boy himself. He had become sweeter and kinder. He just needed a cheerleader. Maybe that is all your child needs. Be a cheerleader for your children.   5. Be a mom who laughs! Proverbs 17:22 A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken  spirit drains your strength. (NCV) Moms, we need to  lighten up, or my daughter says, “Chill, mom!” Kids are fun! Find ways to bring  joy and laughter into your home. Jered is  a big hunk of a football p_layer_, a husband and father, but occasionally, I have  to remind him of the fact that I can still take him. He will make some irritating comment, tease me  or poke me in the ribs. I warn him and  then I see the gleam in his eye as he takes one more shot. I then begin chasing him around the house.   Jered inevitably starts laughing so hard that, when I catch him, he is totally  helpless. It is quite a sight to  see! Moms are the thermostats of the home  and need to keep the emotional setting on joy! Children get most of their first impressions of God from their  parents. I want my kids to know that God   is a God of joy and laughter! Kids need a  mom who laughs! 6. Be a mom who hugs! Luke 18:15 “One day some parents brought their little children  to Jesus so he could touch them and bless   them.” (NLT) Our children need  moms who touch them and demonstrate to them healthy physical affection! Children need and crave physical  affection. It is a God-given need that is  meant to be met in God-given ways! There  is healing in a mother’ s touch! Start  early and never stop! It is a terrible  shock for kids to have the hugging stop just at the age when they need it the  most!   One day, I grabbed  our daughter, Danna, in a hug and kissed her cheek. As I walked away, I looked back to see her  wiping off that kiss. She caught my hurt  look and said, “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m  just rubbing it in!” I know. She’s good…and has become an affectionate  young woman. Be a mom who  hugs! 7. Be a mom who disciplines! Proverbs 6:23 “The correction of discipline is the way to  life.” (NLT) Kids want and need  discipline! Discipline is a hedge of  protection in the life of a child and part of our job as a parent is to tend  that hedge, to keep it strong and in place! If we are not careful, every day can dissolve into a never-ending battle  for control. As parents, we need to let  go of what we can and hold our ground on what we can’t. Discipline  principles: 1.      Be consistent 2.      Discipline from love...not  anger. 3.      Pick your  battles. 4.      Don’t  expect children to act like adults. 5.      Teach  them that there are consequences to choices. 6.      Realize  that every child is different. 7.      Don’t  discipline until you have control of your emotions. This last point is  major! We are the adults who should be  able to control emotions. If we don’t,  neither will our children. Proverbs 29:11  Foolish people lose their tempers, but wise people control theirs. (NCV) Pick your battles of discipline and wage them with emotions under  control. Whatever you do, don ’t put the  light out in their eyes. Kids need a mom  who disciplines! 8. Be a mom who  forgives! Colossians 3:13 13 Get along with each other, and forgive each other.  If someone does wrong to you,   forgive that person  because the Lord forgave you. (NCV) We teach children  how to forgive others by how we forgive them. Forgiveness is part of every healthy relationship so when we practice  forgiveness, we are modeling healthy relationships for them. We also teach our children about God’ s  forgiveness by how we forgive. Be quick  to forgive your child but be quicker to ask your child’s forgiveness. My children are very used to hearing me say,  “I am so sorry! I blew it. Please forgive me.” One morning, I had  to apologize to my daughter before she even got to school. I got up tired and grouchy to find that Danna  was not moving fast enough for me. I  didn’t like the clothes she picked out to wear. I didn’t like what she was saying or doing or how she was saying and  doing it. I didn’t like the fact that she  kept her cool while I lost mine. Therefore, I did what any mature parent would do. I threw a tantrum and grounded her for  it! Yes, I have provided many  opportunities for my children to practice forgiveness. I pray that it has made them more forgiving of  themselves and of others. Be a mom who is  quick to forgive! Being a mom is the  hardest job on earth! It brings out the  best and the worst in you, requires great sacrifice and limitless energy! To invest your time and best efforts into a  child, to watch that child grow and develop, is to be part of the creative  majesty of life itself! Today, commit  with me to seek God’s power and plan to be a mom who really matters.   Let’s  pray Father, more than  ever before, I want to be a great mom, but I often find myself doing just the  opposite of what I know is right when it comes to my kids. Please forgive me. Help me to apply the truths and principles of  Your Word as I walk in this high calling of motherhood. Bless my children, Lord,  and help them to follow You all the days of their  lives. Amen. Now it’s your  turn Review the  principles from today’s devotion as well as yesterday’s.   Choose one area in  your role as a mom to focus on. What changes do you  need to make? Today, celebrate  your children. Give them a call. Prepare a special meal. Write them a special  note. Choose now to be a  mom that matters. Check us out! _www.MySpace.com/LoriMJ28_ (http://www.myspace.com/LoriMJ28) _http://stores.ebay.com/Dennis-and-Loris-Variety-Shop_ (http://stores.ebay.com/Dennis-and-Loris-Variety-Shop) _www.PilesVarietyStore.com_ (http://www.pilesvarietystore.com/) (1st time shoppers MUST contact us for a code to  use for a $10 gift card) LoriMJ24 is a  registered member of America Online's White List and is a registered  mailer with America Online® Community Action Team Please call 888-265-3733  Or 888-265-8004 to register your screenname on the White Mailing  List **************Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family favorites at AOL Food.       (http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001)