canasia.org

Conspiracy theories are funny things: the wackier they sound, the more likely they are to be true. 0.001% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: Ted Rall is a bozo. 99.99% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: The true purpose of the government's every action is to create a cheese grater on wheels which will use radioactive spiders to make 2 plus 2 equal 5 under water so that half-pangolin/half-artichoke creatures might build a 10,000-mile-long landing strip for cattle mutilators from the planet Carbuncle which is permanently hidden behind the number 12 inside my left eyeball using the principles of Davis Mechanics to suppress pro-Free Silver voices in the Corporate Media because God puts water in my garbage cans.

Ted Rall informs us: Conspiracy theories are funny things: the wackier they sound, the more likely they are to be true. 0.001% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: Ted Rall is a bozo.         This does apply to dopey Internet hoaxes, tho.  Whenever we         chortle at the dummies who fall for them, the hoaxes come true         to punish our arrogance.  Consider:         o  The Good Times virus.  Remember explaining to people that            viruses can't spread by email?         o  Bill Gates giving $1 for each address to which you forward            this email:  it turns out that outlook now has some magical            feature to inform you when a recipient forwards your email.            As long as everyone in the world uses Outlook, that is.         o  A tax on email.  People are considering surcharges on            internet usage to compensate for online piracy.  No foolin!         o  Finally, MAKE.MONEY.FAST.  Remember explaining to people            why the idea is mathematically infeasible?  This during the            giant tech boom of companies with no business models,            launching giant IPOs?                                                      -S

   o  The Good Times virus.  Remember explaining to people that       viruses can't spread by email? Recently, my Dad[1] fell victim to a hoax that induces people to delete Windoze' long file name backup program.  He started telling me about how he thought he had this virus when I explained to him that the way I read e-mail makes me immune to e-mail viruses.  In hindsight, if I had let him tell me the whole story, I probably would have caught the hoax in time to save his system.

: In his latest nugget of wisdom : http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/uctr/20020109/cm/i_can_see_clearly_now_t... : Ted Rall informs us: : Conspiracy theories are funny things: the wackier they sound, the : more likely they are to be true. : 0.001% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: Ted Rall is a bozo. : 99.99% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: The true purpose of the government's every : action is to create a cheese grater on wheels which will use : radioactive spiders to make 2 plus 2 equal 5 under water so that : half-pangolin/half-artichoke creatures might build a 10,000-mile-long : landing strip for cattle mutilators from the planet Carbuncle which is : permanently hidden behind the number 12 inside my left eyeball using : the principles of Davis Mechanics to suppress pro-Free Silver voices : in the Corporate Media because God puts water in my garbage cans. Was that God, since I'm not dislexic I didn't realize it was him I saw watering your garbage cans ? Does he have to mark out territory in this age of cynicism ?

99.99% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: The true purpose of the government's every action is to create a cheese grater on wheels which will use radioactive spiders to make 2 plus 2 equal 5 under water so that half-pangolin/half-artichoke creatures might build a 10,000-mile-long landing strip for cattle mutilators from the planet Carbuncle which is permanently hidden behind the number 12 inside my left eyeball using the principles of Davis Mechanics to suppress pro-Free Silver voices in the Corporate Media because God puts water in my garbage cans. On the upside, we can all say we knew John_-_Winston before he was appointed supreme overlord by the greys.

Conspiracy theories are funny things: the wackier they sound, the more likely they are to be true. 0.001% LIKELY TO BE TRUE: Ted Rall is a bozo. I like Ted Rall, and have several of his books. But clearly he's been cooped up in his house too long. The whole 'how to get the oil from central asia' thing has been kicking around since at least 1992 or so. This does not mean that Dubya and Cheney are not weasels, but tying 9/11 to a oil grab is a bit much, sort or in the range of all the people Clinton was supposed to have killed over Whitewater. Tying 9/11 to an oil grab, yes, but not our reaction to it.  I'm not sold on the argument by any stretch, but it's something to watch.  The report that we already had plans to invade before 9/11 would be disturbing if it were more credible. I think Rall is actually taking my position