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We're thinking about adopting a second child in a year or so. Since we already have a girl, we'd be more interested in a boy, though we won't argue if the right child happens to be another daughter. Which got me thinking... What on earth do Jewish families do when they adopt school-age sons from gentile backgrounds? I can just see the reaction from, for example, a Russian orphanage kid

Yes.  You adopt the child.  Since you are talking about a child who is able to reason somewhat, first you work on communication and teaching him or her the ropes of the household.  You take him or her to services.  You raise them as if they are Jewish. Often, when the child realizes that this is something that all their friends have had done, they want it too so they won't be different. Or as they learn what it means to be Jewish, they will want it as part of who they have become. I was thinking along similar lines. That's more or less the way I'm thinking, yes. Raise him as part of the family, including him in Jewish ritual events, don't force it on him, but talk to him about it once he is well established in the household and then see what he wants to do when he's old enough to make his own choices. I have a friend (Jewish-born, but raised in a place where it wasn't safe to have it done) who got himself circumcised at 18, after he'd immigrated; I know it doesn't *have* to be traumatic. I just think it would be if it was presented as some sort of requirement for being part of our family, to a child who didn't yet feel secure. Naomi

Yes.  You adopt the child.  Since you are talking about a child who is able to reason somewhat, first you work on communication and teaching him or her the ropes of the household.  You take him or her to services.  You raise them as if they are Jewish. Often, when the child realizes that this is something that all their friends have had done, they want it too so they won't be different. Or as they learn what it means to be Jewish, they will want it as part of who they have become. I was thinking along similar lines. That's more or less the way I'm thinking, yes. Raise him as part of the family, including him in Jewish ritual events, don't force it on him, but talk to him about it once he is well established in the household and then see what he wants to do when he's old enough to make his own choices. I have a friend (Jewish-born, but raised in a place where it wasn't safe to have it done) who got himself circumcised at 18, after he'd immigrated; I know it doesn't *have* to be traumatic. I just think it would be if it was presented as some sort of requirement for being part of our family, to a child who didn't yet feel secure. Naomi Naomi, You seem to be considering this in a kind and rational way. Only two thoughts to add: 1. Do you have a rabbi you could consult on this?  If so, your rabbi might have encountered similar situations, and may be able to advise you _base_d on the experience of others who have adopted under similar circumstances. 2. What you are doing, at least in my book, is a tremendous mitzvah. Yasher koach! Jay